HOW ARE YOU IN REAL LIFE?

I thought this was an interesting question. My friend Stacey (the only person I know that spells her name the same way I do) asked the boardie girls this & I thought it was just really interesting. It made me think too. How I am in real life? So, I thought I would make a blog post out of it & analyze how I am in “real” life.

I was very shy growing up, I would not speak at all. I’d smile when spoken too. My dad still imitates that smile today. I think my parents were very shocked when I got heavily involved with theatre & acting because I had been so shy, but I guess that got me out of that shell.

I would say I am the farthest thing from that girl nowadays. I also would hope that if you met me … I’d be as close to what you see on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr & this blog as humanly possible. If there is any awkwardness it wouldn’t come from me because I’d approach you like we’re life long friends. I wouldn’t hug you though, you’d have to hug me. Numerous people have told me that I’m very theatrical when I speak. I don’t really know what that means but I’ve heard it a lot. I guess with my personality & facial expression? I’m very detailed when I write but I’m also the same way when I talk. I wish more people were. I’m very goofy, sarcastic & witty. I make a lot of random comments/jokes. I’ll break any moment of silence, or awkward silence with a joke or a comment of some sort. I talk fast. I talk loud. I talk a lot, nonstop, all day to anyone.

I’m extremely obsessive compulsive & certain things can easily drive me insane. Things like hearing my sister’s TV through the wall, heavy breathing or if the DVD in the DVD player doesn’t run smoothly (I’ve broken DVD players trying to stop that noise). I don’t do anything that doesn’t have a well thought out plan. I analyze the before & after to everything I do. I like spontaneity as long I’m not the one initiating it. I’d like to think I’m pretty nice, understanding, empathic. Everyone who’s ever been able to really sit down & have a heart-to-heart with me has told me that they’ve never met anyone they could so easily open up too. I smile a lot & when I’m not smiling it doesn’t mean I’m mad or upset … I’m just thinking. I don’t deal with stress or anxiety very well. I will seriously get nauseous. See me during football season. Depending on the subject/topic … I can be very self-righteous. I’m very opinionated. I don’t beat around the bush. I don’t see the point. If you ask my opinion … I give my opinion. I will never tell someone what they want to hear. And, if there’s a problem … I like to talk it out & resolve it. It doesn’t just go away for me.

They say love lasts three years – what about friendship? How many people are you still friends with that you were three years ago? Whose lost friendship do you miss the most?

I guess the first way to answer this is by mentioning that I don’t have very many real friends. This is because I severely limit the number of people I allow into my life. I don’t like a lot of people around & it’s very difficult for me to let my guard down. I basically, trust very few people. Actually, I trust no people. I have been very unlucky when maintaining friendships with people. I don’t know what it is but I seem to get all the bad seeds who eventually turn into weeds. And, I refuse to subject myself to people who won’t be around in three years. I don’t like wasting my time & I tend to believe most people are just that … a waste of my time.

But to answer the question … I can only think of one friendship that have actually ended in the last three years. I don’t really want to go into too much detail because even though it officially ended this year, it actually ended for me many years ago & I prefer not to rehash the past.

The friendship lost is actually someone I grew up very close too & one day, I guess she decided she didn’t care. Which hurt me very badly for quite sometime. I’m fine now but because I had lost a lot of the people closest to me, I felt [looking back] … I tried to force this person to care & they just didn’t. I probably even came off obsessive, but I was just trying to stop losing the people who meant the most to me. I didn’t want this person to become a bad part of past, like everything/everyone else. After I deleted (literally) this person from my life I felt so much relief that I wish I had done it a long time ago. I don’t let things go so easily but I let myself not be mad about everything that happened between us for the last decade because I just wanted her in my life but nothing was ever resolved. I grew to care less & less. And do I miss this person? I can honestly say, no I do not. I’m done caring about people who don’t care about me, so I just don’t let myself go there.

I was searching through movies on Netflix this morning. I saw they added a movie I used to love called BROKEDOWN PALACE. I originally saw it back in 1999 & for some reason my sister & I just loved it. We rented it all the time & then we had purchased it on VHS which we still have but who has a working VCR anymore? Anyway, I was immediately ecstatic because it has been over a decade since I saw it last.

It stars Claire Danes & Kate Beckinsale as two best friends from America & Bill Pullman plays their lawyer.

SYNOPSIS: Alice and Darlene, friends since birth, have just finished high school. They are planning a summer vacation in Hawaii, but they hear Bangkok is even better. They leave… without telling their parents about the change in plans. Bangkok’s fun, but they’re not crazy about their $6 accommodation. They try for a swim at a luxury hotel, but then there’s some trouble when it’s time to pay for their drinks. They’re rescued by a roving software consultant, Nick Parks, an Australian. Nick’s a good guy, although he can’t decide which girl he’s after. He tells the pair that Hong Kong is great, and he’s willing to exchange his first class plane ticket for three economy… The girls rush to catch their flight out. At the airport police arrive suddenly. The girls have heroin in their backpack… Darlene’s father has no luck freeing the girls from prison, even when he looks for help from the local DEA agents. But there’s a sleazy lawyer, Hank Green, who may be able to do something, for a price. (Taken from IMDB)

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This movie made me very fearful of traveling to foreign third world countries. Not that I have any desire to smuggle drugs & I’m worried about getting caught but you don’t know the same rights in these places & things are done completely different. And, you can be preyed upon … not even knowing it. The girls in this movie were taken through hell. They didn’t even know if their statement in Thai was what they said to the police. It also kind of reminds of Natalee Holloway case. I can’t help but think that if her disappearance happened in America & was investigated the way we investigate cases … they would have been able to solve it.

SPOILER!
If you haven’t seen the movie & would like to without anything be spoiled don’t read any further because I’ll probably spoil it for you.
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